Just don’t know what to do. Just don’t know how to be. What am I?

I wrote a post and then deleted it because I suppose tumblr can’t always be a diary.
I wish I had someone to talk to but I don’t.

There is a bright white light in the corner of the room behind a table.
I know it’s the kind of night when I can’t sleep.
My body is weak with fatigue and regrets and it’s heavy. My thoughts hurt.
There are sound waves hitting the floorboards and if I close my eyes I still see too clearly. I see a catalogue of things I don’t want to see that i can’t dispose of because it’s just that sort of night when I can still see through my eyelids and I hear every noise.

I just remembered something very vividly and I can’t tell if it’s pleasant in my mind or if I feel sick to my stomach. It’s hard to tell with thoughts sometimes. I won’t be sleeping. That light in the corner is going to bother me. That thought in the corner is going to bother me. Can I turn both lights off?